finding a place to start

Well, it's been about a month since my last post. I tried emailing a studio about a potential interview, but with no response. I guess I'll have to just show up there and hope someone is available to talk, since they couldn't be bothered to either respond and say "thanks, but no thanks" or "please call to schedule an appointment". I'm sure it's my fault for not just going there in person in the first place, but still, a little common courtesy would go a long way in this world!

At any rate, I've been doing more tattoo work, I wish I had a more consistent flow though. That's another thing I miss about working in a shop. Still not missing the drama though, my Facebook News Feed is still overflowing with it! I'm trying to focus on some art production for the time being. I feel like so much time this summer has already slipped by--it's practically August already!!

I spent a couple of days last week prepping a few canvases with gesso. I'm really hoping to do a few acrylic pieces, since I bought some acrylic mediums to play with, but have been having a difficult time getting started with them. I also have a folder full of ideas for sets of tattoo flash that I want to put together, but that's something I want to do in watercolor.

I feel like I have all these ideas bubbling just beneath the surface, but I just can't get them out, like being creatively constipated. I feel like I'm so close to it, but just can't quite get it for some reason. Maybe I'm overthinking everything, tensing up my brains until nothing will come out! Why is it so hard to get started on something? Once I get going, it's a completely different story. It's always the way. I've been spending so much time looking at paintings and tattoos lately that my eyes might seriously start to bleed any moment. Just trying to get inspired, trying to find a place to start, trying to find my voice in here somewhere.

An Update

It's been awhile since I've last posted a blog. My back injury is better than it's been in a long time, but still causes me some difficulty, so I'm trying to slowly get back to work. I spent a few months flat on my back in bed, after many MANY attempts to carefully work through it. With the help of my chiropractor, I've been able to avoid surgical intervention, though the process has been slow. I spent some time helping out at my uncle's motorcycle shop (doing office work), but I'm trying to get back to tattooing at this point. I've yet to really explore the opportunities I might have with shops here in the Albany area, though I plan on taking my portfolio around and introducing myself in the near future. I went back to school this past January, and really enjoyed getting back to it! I had a solid semester, and a fantastic Studio Art professor whose critiques of my work really helped push me forward, which is something I've needed for awhile now!

I've discovered how much I enjoy working with acrylics, as opposed to oils (even though they were my first infatuation) and I made great progress with my watercolors. The bottom line is that I've broken through the wall and begun producing artwork for myself, for the first time in many years. It's so easy to get caught up in other people's ideas and desires when your job revolves around what someone else wants you to draw/produce.

I did my first Tattoo Party in well over a year (maybe more) last week, it really reminded me how much I've missed tattooing. When you're only working by appointment, you get a taste. But doing a number of pieces, one immediately after another, you start to remember why you loved it in the first place. I certainly miss knowing what it's like to have a consistent paycheck every week, and I've tried to convince myself that I could go back to an office job, as long as I can leave it at the office at night and go home. But I can't change the way I feel about being a tattoo artist. Some of my previous employers have left a poor taste in my mouth, and for a long time, I associated that with all of tattooing. I'm glad that I'm working through that though, it's been like trying to deny a part of myself.

I fully plan on finishing my Bachelors in Art, and then eventually a Masters, to leave some options open. I know that the skills I will continue to refine will be useful, no matter what path I take through this life. I'm so grateful for the support of my husband, my family, my friends, and my loyal customers--I'd be nowhere without each and every one of them.

I'll include some artwork in my next post, but I've been updating my deviantArt page again, so feel free to check it out!

Erin Clayton on deviantArt